ASTRO FIASCO / / CASE FILE 005-AF

ZOMBIE RISES FROM GRAVE; CITY DESCENDS INTO CHAOS; DISCO FOLLOWS

Authorities baffled after witnesses report unidentified figure wreaking havoc in downtown Chattanooga.

ZOMBIE RISES FROM GRAVE; CITY DESCENDS INTO CHAOS; DISCO FOLLOWS

BY STAFF REPORTER
OCTOBER 9, 2026

Residents were advised to remain indoors Friday night after an unidentified figure reportedly emerged from a local cemetery and proceeded toward downtown, leaving a trail of confusion, panic, and what witnesses described as “an unusually strong urge to dance.”The incident began shortly after midnight when several residents reported hearing music coming from the direction of the cemetery.“At first I thought someone was throwing a party,” said one witness who asked not to be identified. “Then I saw him.”According to witnesses, the figure appeared pale, disoriented, and dressed entirely in black. Several people initially assumed they were witnessing a Halloween stunt.That assumption changed when the figure allegedly began moving through the streets in an erratic manner.“He looked like he was trying to looking for something,” another witness said. “Or someone.”Authorities arrived shortly afterward.By then, the situation had reportedly escalated.Multiple witnesses described sudden flashes of light, distorted music, and groups of people behaving erratically in the streets. Officers attempting to establish a perimeter were reportedly unable to determine where the disturbance originated.Then the music changed.Witnesses described the new sound as “dark,” “aggressive,” and “impossible to ignore.”“People stopped running,” said one witness. “They just started dancing.”Police have declined to comment on reports that several officers were seen dancing at the scene."We were dealing with a potentially dangerous undead individual," said one officer. "Then somehow everyone started dancing."No fatalities have been reported.The unidentified figure remains at large.Authorities have not confirmed whether the individual is responsible for the incident, whether the individual is still alive, or whether the individual is, in fact, a zombie.Residents are advised to avoid the cemetery after dark and to report any suspicious disco-like activity immediately.They are also advised not to follow the music.UPDATE: Authorities are reportedly investigating local cynic and music producer, Astro Fiasco, for possible violations related to improper burial practices, cemetery disturbance and "repeatedly digging up things that are better left alone."Further investigation is ongoing.

Police Incident Report

CASE NO.: 005-AF
DATE: October 9, 2026
TIME OF INITIAL REPORT: 12:17 A.M.
LOCATION: [REDACTED] CEMETERY
REPORTING OFFICER: DET. [REDACTED]INCIDENT TYPECEMETERY DISTURBANCE / IMPROPER BURIAL / UNLAWFUL EXHUMATION / RUMINATION / HARASSMENT BY UNKNOWN DECEASED INDIVIDUAL

SUBJECTNAME: Astro Fiasco
STATUS: Person of Interest
OCCUPATION: Musician
KNOWN ALIAS: None confirmedSubject has previously been identified in connection with multiple incidents involving unauthorized access to restricted locations and the disturbance of objects described by witnesses as “better left alone.”No charges have been filed at this time.

INCIDENT SUMMARYAt approximately 12:17 A.M., dispatch received multiple calls reporting an individual digging at a grave in the [REDACTED] Cemetery.Responding officers located the subject approximately 40 yards from the reported location.Subject was observed holding a shovel.When questioned regarding his presence in the cemetery, subject stated:“I was looking for closure.”Subject was unable or unwilling to elaborate.When informed that the cemetery was closed, subject reportedly replied:“I know.”Subject was instructed to leave the premises.Subject refused.

EVIDENCE ARCHIVE

[EXHIBIT A]
THE SUBJECT

Music recovered from the subject's archive.

[EXHIBIT B]
AUDIO RECORDING

Audio recovered in connection with the incident.